7 Steps To Vows That Wow!
1. I know you're really nervous about writing your wedding vows, and possibly imagining that you can't do this. I'm going to walk you through the seven steps, one at a time, to help you craft your perfect wedding vows. You'll be prepared to wow your spouse at the alter.
Start with a blank piece of paper and a pen. You're going to do a stream of consciousness exercise, so I suggest a paper and pen over typing. Take a minute or two to sit quietly and close your eyes. Think about your partner and what you love about them. What are the very first thoughts and emotions that come to mind? Jot those down. Now take a few deep breaths and don't think at all....just write! Put down any short sentences or solo words that come to mind and write as many as you can in a few minutes. You can pick and choose what you want to use as some key points in your vows. When you let your subconscious take over, you'll find that you're provided with the perfect building blocks for your key points in the next sections.
2. Open your remarks by going back to when you two first met and tell them what your first impression of them was. (depending on what you say, this could be a place to lighten the mood and say something funny) Did you feel sparks right away or did it take time to grow on each other? When did you turn a corner and realize that you were developing strong feelings for them and that you knew they were the one? The introduction paragraph is the right place for going over your past together.
3. Next write about some experiences that you've shared that drew you closer together and cemented your bond as a couple. This is where it can get really emotional and there could be a few tears. Be prepared and have some pocket tissues ready to go! Some examples I've heard at wedding ceremonies include one couple who got lost in a foreign country and didn't not speaking the language and by working together as a team they got home safely. A different couple shared the experience of getting sober together. One couple that I've never forgotten, lost two hundred pounds together before planning their elopement and opening their own fitness center together.
They looked deep inside and opened up about their fears and insecurities and how they leaned on each other to conquer them. This section of your vows is the perfect time to tell your soon to be spouse how much you love them and in what specific way they were 100% there for you, or how they've helped you grow and become the best version of yourself.
4. After the last section, it's time to keep it real and heartfelt by mentioning the things that make you two unique as a couple. Do you have corny weird nicknames for each other? Maybe you love a certain song or poem? You can work it into your speech in this section. If there's a Star Wars addiction you both share, this is the place to talk about the cute and endearing details that are the glue of any relationship. For example, my partner and I once took a trip to Europe and had tiny custom stickers made with our secret nicknames on them, and we discreetly stuck them in places nobody would ever see them, but we knew we'd never forget leaving our mark on a certain very romantic city!
5. Now that you've covered your past and present from the time you met through today, it's time to make vows for your future together. These are real promises that you'll make that are a blueprint for your future relationship as a married couple. They can be funny and sweet. Every year my partner always orders red velvet birthday cupcakes with Shaun the Sheep on them. It's cheesy but it's It's our thing and we've been doing it for a lot of birthdays. What do you two always do every year, that you want to let them know they can count on? It's a small way of saying that even though you're taking a huge step and getting married, the honeymoon doesn't have to end. Talk about serious promises too, such as committing to co parent a step child, or caring for their older family members. Commit to being their "Ride Or Die" no matter what life throws your way.
6. Don't wait until the last minute. Give yourself at least a few weeks ahead of the wedding to start writing because you're probably going to want to edit your copy a few times, as you'll think of new things you want to add in. Once you get it down pat, practice and work on your word flow and intonation. Make sure you practice where you'll pause and take a breath. It shouldn't sound like one long monotone sentence. Public speaking is terrifying to most people, and practicing in front of a good friend can help you prepare and they'll be able to give you valuable feedback.
7. Did you write all of this down on a piece of notebook paper or put it in a text to yourself in your iPhone? Remember that whatever you are holding in your hands containing the sacred words of your wedding vows, you're going to be looking at close up wedding photos of it for years to come. I suggest buying a beautiful heavy piece of paper to print your vows onto, or better yet, go online to Etsy.com and order yourself a beautiful set of vow books. If you order in time, you can have your names and the date on the cover and it's a beautiful keepsake to look back at years from now. Most of them were between fifteen and thirty dollars for the set and it's a small luxury that's worth investing in.
