If You Are Between Fifty And One Hundred And Thinking About Getting Married...

I started thinking recently about what I wanted to write about for this blog update and I always think about all of the diverse couples that I photograph on a weekly basis in San Francisco.

I had a whole slew of maternity weddings in the Spring, and this was followed by seniors! I don’t mean seniors in high school either. I mean, over fifty, and in some cases, almost one hundred!

Surprisingly, the majority of my couples met each other on internet dating sites. Who knew? It turns out the baby boomer are more tech savvy than we thought! The most senior groom that I’ve worked with is ninety three years old. I asked him to tell me a little bit about the two of them. He said that they met online seven or eight years ago, and just decided that,”it was time”.Well, I dare say so!

One of the comments that I get a lot of from the brides is that they’ve already done this before and they don’t want to make a big deal out of it. Their kids are grown, and they don’t need another set of dishes. Well, that’s fine, but I still recommend making it a very special day. Treat yourself to having your hair and make up done, buy a beautiful bouquet. This wont break the bank, (even if you’re on a fixed income) but it will say that this day is different from any other day.

The marriage rate is going up for people over age 65, a study in the UK in 2012 said that the number of grooms increased by 25% and the number of brides the same age, went up by 21%. That’s a lot of confetti and streamers! So what’s going on?

Well of course, for centuries, there was familial and societal pressure, you got married, or you were considered a failure. By the 1950’s woman didn’t have to get married, but seemed to feel as if they “should”. By the time we got to the 1960’s and 1970’s, woman just said NO, we don’t want to get married and furthermore the ones who did all started to get divorced. It’s that exact same generation who has now had a change of heart.

Couples who have been divorced or widowed, and remarry later in life, have a better sense of who they are and how to behave in a relationship for the benefit of both partners. Thoughtful gestures, such as bringing your partner a small gift, or even a cup of coffee in the morning make this new chapter in life so much sweeter. It’s also been proven in studies that having a partner increases your over all health and life span, so why not?

The couples that I’ve worked with have all had one thing in common, and that’s a very palpable love and affection for each other, you would have thought this was their first love! I think this is because they have been down this road before and were crystal clear on what they wanted in a partner, and what they wouldn’t tolerate. I just saw sheer joy, and it gave me hope for my future as I turn fifty myself next year.

Not all of the weddings that I photographed were at San Francisco City Hall, one was at The Palace of Fine Arts, but both of these are San Francisco venues that can accommodate immediate friends and family, or an elopement as is the case for one of my favorite couples who will be having the “big reveal” with their family this fall! Bigger is not always better, and since your parents are most likely NOT going to pay for your wedding if you’re over sixty, both of these venues fit the bill.

I guess at the end of the day, love is always the right answer.